Crunch: The Tube
This Crunch was inspired by
’s challenge to make a story based on a throwaway Note about the pneumatic tube at a bank:If you have ideas for Prompts, Crunches, Sprints, Relays, or other writing exercises in the future, please leave them in the comments! If you would like to write your own take for this exercise, please comment with a link so that I can see what you wrote and support your work, maybe even share your version with my subscribers. Please let me know if you have any thoughts, comments, or constructive criticisms as well!
Enjoy!
Crunch: Write about a stolen capsule from the pneumatic tube at a bank
Thwump….shhhhhhhhh
This was the worst time of day.
It was after 5pm, and the last thirty minutes at the bank drive-thru were all late-comers with complex transactions that could not easily be negotiated through the drive-thru.
Thwump….shhhhhhhhhh
And we had two lanes of drive-thru, with the second being managed through a capsule in a pneumatic tube.
Customers would put their information in and…
Thwump…shhhhhhhhh
We would send their money back. And try to speak on them through a crackling, 1970’s era microphone which only worked if there was no cross-breeze.
“Hey, Craig, can you work the tube for a second? I need a bio break.”
“Yep mhm, sure.” Craig replied while counting bills—before pausing a moment later and starting over.
When I came back Craig was still counting bills and there was someone waiting at the second lane. It was 5:29.
I pushed the button to recall the capsule.
…..shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
“Craig, where is the capsule?”
“What it was there when you left.”
“I know it was there when I left, where did it go after I left?”
“I don’t know I was counting bills!”
“I asked you to man the drive-thru!”
The radio crackled to life: “Helloooo? Can you help me please?”
“I’m sorry sir, can you come back tomorrow? The capsule drive-thru isn’t working.”
“Geeze guys I need a better bank.”
= = =
Craig returned to his car and smiled. He threw another capsule on the pile in his trunk.
(242 words)
The Promptee Has Become The Promptor
Your feedback helps to improve my writing. I would really appreciate a comment on your thoughts on this writing exercise. Consider telling me your thoughts about:
What was the worst job you ever had?
Have you ever used one of those pneumatic ATM tubes?
Drive thru banking or drive thru fast food?
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy! Come back next week for another writing exercise!
Hey, before you go—have you read my recently published Serial, SANDBOX EARTH yet? You can buy a hardcopy too! Check it out at the link!
God bless!
That was some fun dialog. It reminded me of "The Office." Great onomatopoeia.
1. I was a pollster for a summer. Nobody wants to talk to a dude with a clip board.
2. Sadly, I haven't used the pneumatic ATM tubes.
3. Drive thru fast food, hands down.
I just want to weigh in to encourage fun/random/crazy stuff like this. This way of generating ideas has merit: the spontaneity really shines.