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Scott MacLeod's avatar

Couldn’t resist, I know it’s not a formal prompt today but just dashed this off.

Two Angry Steers

Em couldn’t hide her excitement. “Says here there’s a traveling minister coming to town. Says here he’s gonna talk on The Parables. For my money them’s some of God’s sweetest words.”

Her husband was more phlegmatic. “Yup.”

“Jonas, are you even listening? I’m sure we will hear about casting seeds on rocky soil and the plants not taking hold. That’s a lesson somebody I know could stand to learn.”

“I dont need no farming advice from no fancy pants preacher. Of course you don’t just lay the kernel on top. The good Lord invented the hoe didn’t he.”

As the week progressed Em couldn’t help preview some of what she hoped to hear come Sabbath. Each met with more and more disdain from her incredulous husband.

“Who would plant mustard in this climate. It’s an abomination. And let me get this straight, if you lose one lamb out of 100 you ignore the flock and lose them all to the coyotes to find the one stray. This talk is just plum crazy. No wonder he needs to pass a hat to support hisself.”

Come Sunday Em could barely contain her excitement. “I cannot wait to hear about The Parables. There is nothing like a good parable. You know you can learn a lot from the parables.”

Finally, Jonas had all he could stand. “All week I’ve been hearing about this parson and his helpful hints. His agricultural advice does not make a lick of sense. And now I’m gonna listen to his ideas on livestock? Pair a bulls. Pair a bulls. That’s all I been listening to since Monday. What in the wide world is anybody supposed to do with a pair of bulls? First of all, it’s unnatural. And every rancher worth his salt knows it won’t yield a thing, except maybe two angry steers.”

Em knew her predicament well of course but generally kept it swept into a small, neat pile in a corner of her unconscious. On occasion, like this one, the dustpan overflowed, and she had nowhere to hide the scraps. “I am of a mind to say something about pearls before swine, but I feel like I’d be here ‘til supper explaining it.”

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