If I didn't know better, I would say that this has a classic feel...like it was written a long time ago. Shades of being an oral story written down, which is not an easy form to pull off. The conversations with the friends, especially, feel like a thought exercise that would be told by an ancient philosopher. Asks some great questions, too. Very well done!
That is some high praise SE, thank you so much. Every story is a little different but a common thread I am discovering is that I seem to have a very dialogue-y style, which has surprised me! I am glad it felt old but new. Thank you for reading and for your ever-helpful comments!
Wow; talk about your moral dilemmas. I loved the way you went through this; the snapshot of Atlantean culture, the Oracle, Barthemus' personality and relationships with his friends and his wife. Very nicely done. You made me really wonder what would've happened if he'd gone the other way, and I love when a story raises intriguing possibilities like that.
I like Atlantis being used as a morality tale like it was originally made for. There's a weirdly racist history of Atlantis based pseudo history. Interesting that this is basically an inversion of Plato's allegory of it being sunk for hubris, while here it's sunk despite being virtuous.
More directly I liked the style with the conversations framing the dilemma in different ways. Although I'm not sure if I'm keen on the marked and numbered scene breaks. Might break up the story a little too much instead of letting it flow.
I am blissfully ignorant of the weird racist associations with Atlantis. This idea was borne actually from a conversation I had with Hambone, we called it the "Reverse Muad'dib"--in Dune Paul Atreides sees the future and is powerless to stop it. What if he stopped it by refusing that path? But I had to frame it in a way that makes more sense than Dune!
That is excellent feedback about the marked/numbered scene breaks. I was debating serializing this, so those breaks would have been "Episodes" but I think you're right it flows together better as one piece. Maybe in the future I could eliminate the numbers and leave the marks just so it's not so jagged--or I could write better transitions. That is well received, thank you!
I only learned of it recently, but there's some bizarre ancient aliens level nonsense saying the nephilim lived in Atlantis and then built all the ancient architecture of Mesoamerica (instead of you know, the actual people living there). It's why the latest Black Panther move had some skepticism and raised eyebrows over adapting Atlantis into a Mesoamerican city, because the link between those has not been one with positive connotations.
Great story, I really enjoyed this! I think a strong case can be made for either path, but personally, I found this to be the more satisfying one. It seems right to me. Being a reader of thinkers like Nietzsche and Machiavelli, this is something I sometimes struggle to accept... but I side with the king on this.
It’s a question as old as time, and its a VERY difficult ideal to put into practice, and God forbid it’s not presented to us in a dilemma like this one!
But I am glad you enjoyed it and found it interesting. The King appreciates your loyalty as well 😂
So glad that I finally made time to go back and give this a read this morning. Along the same vein as S.E., I feel like this is a story an eccentric grandfather would tell around a campfire. A story that is actually lived by us all.
I love the wise king framing the questions to his friends that are in line with their profession. And I especially love using the answers as a resolve to actually seek the opposite of their answers.
I think it's true that in most situations we know the right choice to our problems rather quickly. Like the king, we just need to gather the resolve to do the right thing, especially when the virtuous decision will not be the popular decision. Absolutely looking forward to whatever you decide to bless us with next.
Thank you so much, Derek! You definitely caught on to the tension that drove this story--so much of my faith life involves looking for reasons to give myself permission to do the thing I already know I ought to do.
Thank you for reading! I'm looking forward to seeing what comes out next, too 😂
I love the tension and struggle of the king. It really highlights the struggle of every leader between survival and morality and which is ultimately the most important.
Yay, a redemptive version of Atlantis! This is my favorite story I’ve read on substack so far (not that I’ve been able to read all that many, but still). The world and character building was perfect even in this length. I’m saving this to reread it.
Wow, i love this parabolic style!
I put y=x^2 in my calculator and this story came out! Glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading!
🤦♀️
If I didn't know better, I would say that this has a classic feel...like it was written a long time ago. Shades of being an oral story written down, which is not an easy form to pull off. The conversations with the friends, especially, feel like a thought exercise that would be told by an ancient philosopher. Asks some great questions, too. Very well done!
That is some high praise SE, thank you so much. Every story is a little different but a common thread I am discovering is that I seem to have a very dialogue-y style, which has surprised me! I am glad it felt old but new. Thank you for reading and for your ever-helpful comments!
Wow; talk about your moral dilemmas. I loved the way you went through this; the snapshot of Atlantean culture, the Oracle, Barthemus' personality and relationships with his friends and his wife. Very nicely done. You made me really wonder what would've happened if he'd gone the other way, and I love when a story raises intriguing possibilities like that.
Thank you Michael! Yes I thought the moral dilemma was fascinating and worth exploring, I am glad it made for good food for thought.
I suppose if he went the other way we would all be speaking Atlantean 😂
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
I love the story. I also love the use of Atlantis as a setting. Everyone (including yours truly) seems to have an opinion on what it is.
I challenge you to write an Atlantis story with your take and I'll blast it to subscribers to Gibberish! Thank you for reading, Michael!
I like Atlantis being used as a morality tale like it was originally made for. There's a weirdly racist history of Atlantis based pseudo history. Interesting that this is basically an inversion of Plato's allegory of it being sunk for hubris, while here it's sunk despite being virtuous.
More directly I liked the style with the conversations framing the dilemma in different ways. Although I'm not sure if I'm keen on the marked and numbered scene breaks. Might break up the story a little too much instead of letting it flow.
I am blissfully ignorant of the weird racist associations with Atlantis. This idea was borne actually from a conversation I had with Hambone, we called it the "Reverse Muad'dib"--in Dune Paul Atreides sees the future and is powerless to stop it. What if he stopped it by refusing that path? But I had to frame it in a way that makes more sense than Dune!
That is excellent feedback about the marked/numbered scene breaks. I was debating serializing this, so those breaks would have been "Episodes" but I think you're right it flows together better as one piece. Maybe in the future I could eliminate the numbers and leave the marks just so it's not so jagged--or I could write better transitions. That is well received, thank you!
You're welcome.
I only learned of it recently, but there's some bizarre ancient aliens level nonsense saying the nephilim lived in Atlantis and then built all the ancient architecture of Mesoamerica (instead of you know, the actual people living there). It's why the latest Black Panther move had some skepticism and raised eyebrows over adapting Atlantis into a Mesoamerican city, because the link between those has not been one with positive connotations.
Great story, I really enjoyed this! I think a strong case can be made for either path, but personally, I found this to be the more satisfying one. It seems right to me. Being a reader of thinkers like Nietzsche and Machiavelli, this is something I sometimes struggle to accept... but I side with the king on this.
It’s a question as old as time, and its a VERY difficult ideal to put into practice, and God forbid it’s not presented to us in a dilemma like this one!
But I am glad you enjoyed it and found it interesting. The King appreciates your loyalty as well 😂
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
It is! No problem, I'll keep an eye out for the next one.
Marvellous, reminded me of a Platonic dialogue :)
I wish I could say I got there on purpose! Thank you very much!
So glad that I finally made time to go back and give this a read this morning. Along the same vein as S.E., I feel like this is a story an eccentric grandfather would tell around a campfire. A story that is actually lived by us all.
I love the wise king framing the questions to his friends that are in line with their profession. And I especially love using the answers as a resolve to actually seek the opposite of their answers.
I think it's true that in most situations we know the right choice to our problems rather quickly. Like the king, we just need to gather the resolve to do the right thing, especially when the virtuous decision will not be the popular decision. Absolutely looking forward to whatever you decide to bless us with next.
Thank you so much, Derek! You definitely caught on to the tension that drove this story--so much of my faith life involves looking for reasons to give myself permission to do the thing I already know I ought to do.
Thank you for reading! I'm looking forward to seeing what comes out next, too 😂
I love the tension and struggle of the king. It really highlights the struggle of every leader between survival and morality and which is ultimately the most important.
And no easy answer, either! Thanks SL!
Yay, a redemptive version of Atlantis! This is my favorite story I’ve read on substack so far (not that I’ve been able to read all that many, but still). The world and character building was perfect even in this length. I’m saving this to reread it.
Wow, thank you! Really appreciate you digging through the backlog. I'm so glad you enjoyed!
I plan on doing further digging over the next week - so nice to find so many stories just waiting to be read!
To lose your life or lose your soul? It is one thing to chose for yourself, but to chose for a whole continent would be a heavy burden, indeed.
This is why I never trained to be king or married into royalty. 🤣
Well done. The tone was perfect for the tale.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown!!
Indeed.