Crunch: The Memorial
Crunch: The Memorial
Writing Exercise #34
We’re back with our regularly scheduled programming!
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Enjoy!
Crunch: “All dressed up and nowhere to go”
Tears filled my eyes at the viewing for the famous atheist, Bertrand Bauer. He and I had our disagreements, but he was a valiant opponent, always pushing me to dig deep into theological, historical, or philosophical knowledge.
We took our seats before the open coffin of Bertrand. He was dressed in a fine suit, his body well preserved and looked almost to be naturally sleeping. His son stood and gave a eulogy that was moving and sincere.
The tears flowed freely while I listened—I had nothing but respect for this man. It was a shame to see him gone before his time.
After the eulogy, the crowd processed and each took a turn at the coffin of Bertrand. When my turn came, a mutual acquaintance noticed me. He came up to me afterward.
“Aren’t you the Catholic apologist, Terrence Towers?” he said.
I sniffed, dabbing my eyes with a handkerchief, “Yes. Yes I am.”
“Forgive me for being shocked to see you here. You and Bertrand feuded often and publicly. Your debates were like an intellectual clash of the titans!”
“Exactly. Out of respect for the man, the most formidable atheist and intellectual adversary, I have come to offer my condolences and honor his memory.”
“But Terrence, you’re crying more than his widow!”
“I know, I know. I can’t help it. Just look at him.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
“He’s all dressed up, with nowhere to go.”
(240 words)
The Promptee Has Become The Promptor
Your feedback helps to improve my writing. I would really appreciate a comment on your thoughts on this writing exercise. Consider telling me your thoughts about:
Have you ever been to a funeral for someone who wasn’t family?
This story is a bad joke just stretched out to 240 words. What’s your favorite bad joke?
What is your go to meal to bring to pot-luck events?
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Thank you and God bless!
Very true and very thought-provoking, in spite of its being a joke.
In answer to question one, I’ve been to one funeral for a non-family member. A 14 month old baby girl in my parish passed away several years ago from cancer. I’d become very close to her in the preceding months and attended her funeral. It was a very difficult funeral to attend, but unlike Mr. Bauer, we all knew exactly where the little baby had gone to, having been Baptized and Confirmed during her short life. Amazingly, I can say with complete assurance that I personally know a saint in Heaven.
Apologies for the rambling there, but your story made me nostalgic! Well done!
Personal favorite long-form corny jokes would be The Pink Story or the Floating Coffin!