30 Comments

Very true and very thought-provoking, in spite of its being a joke.

In answer to question one, I’ve been to one funeral for a non-family member. A 14 month old baby girl in my parish passed away several years ago from cancer. I’d become very close to her in the preceding months and attended her funeral. It was a very difficult funeral to attend, but unlike Mr. Bauer, we all knew exactly where the little baby had gone to, having been Baptized and Confirmed during her short life. Amazingly, I can say with complete assurance that I personally know a saint in Heaven.

Apologies for the rambling there, but your story made me nostalgic! Well done!

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That must be a sublime comfort--both for the little one's parents and for you! Thank you for sharing this!

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Personal favorite long-form corny jokes would be The Pink Story or the Floating Coffin!

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I haven't heard either of those, but have you heard "better nate than lever"?

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One day I'll write them up (or do a voiceover? bc it wouldn't have the same effect written down lol).

No, I have not!

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that's the first one that I heard--it's gold. I'll let you look that one up, I wouldn't do it justice!

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I've heard a coffin joke but not the pink story...

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The Pink Story is maybe the most aggravating long-form joke I know. I've gotten mild death threats from friends over it lol.

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It can't be worse than Norm Macdonald's Moth Joke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJN9mBRX3uo

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It's absolutely worse that that. It's arguably not even funny lol.

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It's also scalable, so it's like, what do you want, the one minute version, the five minute version, the fifteen minute version? I could go all day but I'd get bored of telling it sooner or later.

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Nate/Lever theoretically the same--I think the person who told it to me the first time made it last an entire drive somewhere. It took A WHILE.

You've really hyped this up I need to know. I'm not going to google. You have to tell it!

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I enjoyed the joke even if you claim it was bad.

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haha I am glad! For a last minute workup I was pleased with it!

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My favorite bad joke is this one about these three guys and a firing squad. These guys have all been sentenced to die by firing squad, see, so they line the first guy up, get him ready to go, and the guy yells, "Tornado!" Everyone runs for cover, and the guy takes the opportunity to make his escape.

They realize there's no tornado, so they bring out the second guy, line him up, get ready to go, and the second guy yells, "Earthquake!" Everyone goes for shelter and the second guy gets away.

The third guy sees all this and he figures to himself, "Okay, I've got this, I see what's going down."

So they realize there's no earthquake and they line up the third guy.

The squad readies to go, the commander yells "Ready, aim,"

The third guy yells, "Fire!"

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LOL! I love this! definitely going to be stealing this.

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I saw your Note. I knew the punchline. I laughed anyway 😂 Terrible joke, bravo.

In answer to question 1 - I sing bass in my church choir so I go to a number of funerals a year for people I don't know. The first time was very strange and left me in a weird mood all day but it is easier now. It's an honour to hear about the lives of so many wonderful people, young and old, who have gone to the next life.

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That's amazing. What a great experience--that would be hard I imagine but I guess doing it many times gives you the chance to appreciate what is happening and not dwell in the grief of the experience.

Glad you enjoyed the story as well! Thanks Redd!

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Interesting, Scoot.

Your post reminded me of what the Apostle Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth: "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable." - 1 Corinthians 15:19 and to the Thessalonians: "But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." - 1 Thes 4:19.

I have been to many funerals (at my age it is inevitable) of both believers and non-believers and experienced this very thing.

On several occasions, I have noted the hopelessness displayed in the grief of the unbelieving family. On the other hand, I have experienced a sort of joyful grief of families of believers knowing that their loved ones are safe in the arms of Jesus and that one day they will be reunited.

And I do have a funeral joke. I just can't remember what it is! LOL.

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The joy in death is something totally foreign to me since I became Catholic and I have (blessedly?) not had cause to experience it closely, but some friends have spoken about it and it has been reassuring. The death of my grandparents when I was young was very hard on my whole family, we didn't have anything to turn to.

Thanks for this, Cork!

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It's a weird feeling, this joy in death... In some situations you can even say that in death there is a blessing. They are out of pain and have gone Home.

With the death of my mum 2 years ago, I have been strangely blessed (which to a lot of people would seem ludicrous). It has brought me closer to God and I've been forced to rely on His strength, and in doing so, have come to a new level of feeling His amazing love!

How absolutely blessed are we that we can have this hope!

Side note - loves the joke!!! A bit cheesy if you ask me... (Best kind of joke!)

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*loved (dang it autocorrect!)

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Excellent piece ... the pedant in me would have layered in 10 gratuitous words to cap it out at 250 precisely.

Bad joke:

"I didn't see you at camouflage class today, Trooper Smith".

"Thanks very much, Sergeant Major"

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Hilarious! I love those kind of jokes haha. Reminds me of the old "who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm the locksmith. and...i'm the locksmith."

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Swapping the locksmith joke for the camouflage one! Excellent

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Did you hear about the new law passed in Hawaii? They were having too many loud parties and the cops kept on getting calls to shut them down. So they passed a law saying that you can only laugh at a certain decibal as to not disturb your neighbours...

Yeah, it's weird huh? Now they can only laugh a low ha.

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LOL i laughed at maximum ha!!

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How dare you made me laugh out loud as I’m trying to rock my youngest to sleep!

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LOL sorry but not sorry 🤷‍♂️😂

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