13 Comments
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Michael S. Atkinson's avatar

First off, I loved this. (Also, it's terribly rude to ignore an outstretched hand, so nice touch on that). I'm curious if there's a reason behind DB431's name. I understand why James wants to shorten it, but is 431 significant in any way, or the DB, or both? Anyway, very nice, and I can't wait for episode 3!

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S.E. Reid's avatar

Something certainly fishy about all this! I really like and appreciate the way McElroy reasons stuff out. I know that's the whole point of detective stories, but I'm always surprised at how little actual "detective work" some fictional detectives seem to do. 😂

More, more, more!!

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Dan Ackerfeld's avatar

The game is afoot! I'm intrigued so far, can't wait for part 3.

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Alejandro Piad Morffis's avatar

Loved it! Quick question about methodology, if it's not too rude: do you have it all figured out and planned already, or at least the high-level storyline? I'm curious to learn how you all are so good at this.

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Walther Cantu's avatar

Uncle Gerard is super sus, is all I'm saying.

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

“Do you think we will live long enough to get paid?”

James looked at DB431’s expressionless face, as he drove towards the diner.

“Good question.”

Good question indeed. I would say that the odds are midling to low, DB. lol.

Good job, @Scoot. Good job.

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Diana Cantu's avatar

Aaaand hooked.

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Bridget Riley's avatar

Such a fun, intriguing read! Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting some Brigid O’Shaughnessy vibes from Bridgett (maybe it’s just the name similarity), so I’m wondering if she’s not as innocent as she seems.

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Skeptic Fail's avatar

I dunno, DB, maybe old Uncle Gerard can pay us more than the lady. Maybe getting rid of her would be a more profitable scheme.

My thoughts exactly, sir. Maybe we can take her car as part of the deal.

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Derek Petty's avatar

Perhaps I enjoy reading Noir more than I thought because I AM LOVING THIS.

Well done with the setting as well, Scoot. I’m cold and a tad uncomfortable reading this because I feel myself outside in the cold/ low-cloud drizzle. And the pipe…the trench coat… the unreciprocated hand shake. It’s all very real to me.

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The Casual Writer's avatar

Gerard has no poker face whatsoever, lol. I'm intrigued to read what happens in their meet up!

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Rocky Mattingly's avatar

Enjoyable. Looking forward to the next episode

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Janel's avatar

"do you think we'll live long enough to get paid?" of course, because they are the main characters, but an excellent question none the less. One I"m sure many a private eye has pondered.

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