I'm really enjoying this so far. I like the way you've been able to get into Tylus' head. At 30 I'd drop everything to help my dad if he needed it, but as a teenager I absolutely would have protested having to help out more, while still feeling guilty. You've done a great job of portraying that 16 year old mindset.
Thank you very much for this. TBH i have been debating, when I revisit this, picking a point and rewriting starting from there. Your readthru is very helpful and timely feedback!
Happy to help! I'll give some more feedback as I go along. Are you not satisfied with the story beyond a certain point and want to take it in a different direction? Or just want to rewrite it with a more experienced hand?
I stopped because I got stuck. I made some plot choices and couldn't figure out how to bring it back the way I wanted to. I want to change some bits of Episode 4--I think connecting with the crew of the ship was too easy. Youll notice after Episode 4 I shift in POV, and that's because I didn't know where to take the story next from Tylus' POV. I revisit Tylus but I fear I doubled down on a bad decision in episodes 7 and 8. I was trying to move it towards a scene I was excited about but the detour was frustrating and didn't feel interesting to me.
Please do share any and all feedback and thoughts. If you can see nothing wrong with the story, it might be a case that I am being too hard on myself! If you agree that things have been just a little too easy for poor ol' Tylus, then I want to rectify that!
I'm really enjoying this so far. I like the way you've been able to get into Tylus' head. At 30 I'd drop everything to help my dad if he needed it, but as a teenager I absolutely would have protested having to help out more, while still feeling guilty. You've done a great job of portraying that 16 year old mindset.
Thank you very much for this. TBH i have been debating, when I revisit this, picking a point and rewriting starting from there. Your readthru is very helpful and timely feedback!
Happy to help! I'll give some more feedback as I go along. Are you not satisfied with the story beyond a certain point and want to take it in a different direction? Or just want to rewrite it with a more experienced hand?
I stopped because I got stuck. I made some plot choices and couldn't figure out how to bring it back the way I wanted to. I want to change some bits of Episode 4--I think connecting with the crew of the ship was too easy. Youll notice after Episode 4 I shift in POV, and that's because I didn't know where to take the story next from Tylus' POV. I revisit Tylus but I fear I doubled down on a bad decision in episodes 7 and 8. I was trying to move it towards a scene I was excited about but the detour was frustrating and didn't feel interesting to me.
Please do share any and all feedback and thoughts. If you can see nothing wrong with the story, it might be a case that I am being too hard on myself! If you agree that things have been just a little too easy for poor ol' Tylus, then I want to rectify that!
🧐
Oooh, when you use the middle name you know the guy's in serious trouble.