The Tsar is an interesting character, but I found the switch from part 4 to 5 a bit jarring. I spent the first half trying to figure out whether this was still Tylus but in the future, and if not, why this new character was being introduced now. I might just be a bit slow on the uptake, but I think you need to be a bit clearer up front that this is a perspective shift. Even just a little note like you'd see in a Sci fi movie - "Xylon IV, year 20301 AD" - might be enough to signal the change. I hope this helps!
Great observations. Youve observed my stumble which is great and youve diagnosed some possible paths out of it. The Tsar is a character I want, but you hit it: “why now?” The actual answer is just that I didnt know what to do with Tylus haha.
I think when I come back to this, I can do a modest change to Ep 4, i will probably trash the chapters 7 and 8 but keep the ideas, and the Tsar will be moved to a more appropriate point in the story.
I haven't read 7 and 8 yet, so hopefully you won't lose anything too valuable - I'll let you know what I think.
But fair enough re the Tsar, I think a bit more time with Tylus before introducing him is the way to go. I'm curious to see how their stories come together.
Oh, and definitely seeing the Firefly influence! As well as some Star Wars.
The Tsar is an interesting character, but I found the switch from part 4 to 5 a bit jarring. I spent the first half trying to figure out whether this was still Tylus but in the future, and if not, why this new character was being introduced now. I might just be a bit slow on the uptake, but I think you need to be a bit clearer up front that this is a perspective shift. Even just a little note like you'd see in a Sci fi movie - "Xylon IV, year 20301 AD" - might be enough to signal the change. I hope this helps!
Great observations. Youve observed my stumble which is great and youve diagnosed some possible paths out of it. The Tsar is a character I want, but you hit it: “why now?” The actual answer is just that I didnt know what to do with Tylus haha.
I think when I come back to this, I can do a modest change to Ep 4, i will probably trash the chapters 7 and 8 but keep the ideas, and the Tsar will be moved to a more appropriate point in the story.
I haven't read 7 and 8 yet, so hopefully you won't lose anything too valuable - I'll let you know what I think.
But fair enough re the Tsar, I think a bit more time with Tylus before introducing him is the way to go. I'm curious to see how their stories come together.
Oh, and definitely seeing the Firefly influence! As well as some Star Wars.