Telephobia
Writing With Fictionistas
Hello all! This is my entry for
“Let’s Write Together” activity which happened February 9th. The idea is to write a short story, 1,000 words or less, on the prompt provided. Details about how all this works can be found here:
So this represents my entry. The prompt is fun and I enjoyed thinking about this. I hope you enjoy!
Prompt: You wake up one morning, and every time you reach for your phone, you get extremely nauseous, sometimes vomiting. You turn on the tv and it’s happening all over the world. Why? Is it fixable? Will the world ever be the same?
Jubal Kershaw tamped the tobacco he’d just poured in his pipe. It was a rare moment of peace and quiet. The clouds were low over the rolling mountains of his remote homestead. No sounds to speak of except a solitary crow.
“Mornin’ Jawbone.” He said to the crow.
“CAW CAW CAW,” the crow replied.
Missus Kershaw was cooking on the woodstove and the smell of smoke mingled with his pipe tobacco and Jubal couldn’t help but release a contented sigh.
He let his mind wander as he took relaxed puffs on his pipe. His mind drifted to the odd incident a few weeks ago, and some odd passers-by.
_ _ _
Their car lurched up to the gate—the gate, mind you, clearly marked “No Trespassing”—and they stumbled out, vomiting. All three of them. It was a strange sight.
Jubal walked up casually to the strangers—not every day people come up to your gate and vomit on it—and he said, “Howdy…y’all doin’ alright? Canna help but notice yer havin’ a little distress!” He couldn’t suppress a bemused chuckle.
“DUDE.” One of the people, a young man, responded while wiping vomit from his mouth. “Dude, Oh-muh-gaw. It nearly killed us getting up here, with our..” he gagged on something—“our GPS.”
Jubal laughed, “Is that what GPS does to you? I think yours might be broken, son!”
“No cap, bruh! You seriously don’t know?” another young man said.
Jubal adjusted his hat and said, “My cap fits just fine, thank you. What am I supposed to know?”
“Brooo, ok ok, dude, listen. Like, four days ago, or whatever, everyone’s phones started going, like, BONKERS man. So, Smyle-Network pushed this update to their apps on every device like EVER bro, so we’re talking cell phones, tablets, cars, watches, toothbrushes, microwaves, refrigerators…”
“Son, you better slow down and use some words that’s recognizably English!”
“Bro just listen to me! Everyone’s phones started pushing like HELLA wavelengths.”
“Every frequency.” His friends nodded solemnly
Jubal was getting impatient. “Only wavelength I know of is how far it is appropriate to wave at someone walkin’ t’wards you.”
“Dude! This is serious! Everyone’s phones and devices went crazy and like, no one knows what happened. Everyone started getting sick every time they reached for their phones.”
One of the friends chimed in, “I read it was the Smyle-Network AI waking up. Now there’s a singularity and killer robots going around and scanning people and crosschecking their social media and checking if they are enemies.”
“Enemies of h’what, son?”
“Of, like, the technology, man! The singularity!”
“Uh huh. So, this singularity. There’s more than one?”
“Yeah, man.”
“And they’re killer robots, you think?”
“Yeah, bro, yeah.”
“And you used your phones—the killer robot phones—to get here to my gate.”
“Uh, yeah. Yep, yeah that’s right.”
“And your plan was h’what, exactly?”
“Can we, like, hide here with you?”
“No. No, absolutely not. Not after spinnin’ me a yarn like that. No, y’all best be moving on now.”
“What! Why not!”
“Shouldda told me that story after you asked to hide here. Now I think either y’all are crazy, or y’all are lyin’, or y’all are tellin’ the truth and the world is crazy. In none of those cases do you sound like pleasant comp’ny, so, bye bye naw! Thanks for comin’!”
_ _ _
Jubal smiled contentedly. That was so odd. Ain’t never seen nobody acting so strange.
His fond memories of strangers past were interrupted by the sound of an engine---helicopter? He stood and took a step or two off his front porch. It was some kind of flying robot—four propellers arranged in a square, some big camera looking thing hanging off the middle. Plus some kind of appendages hanging below the camera. On the side was emblazoned “SMY-NET” with a smiley face.
The flying machine slowed down overhead and lowered until the camera was just above eye level. Colored lights flashed and a mechanical voice announced, “SCANNING LIFEFORM.”
Jubal took a surprised step back, but the flying machine hovered closer.
“NO NETWORK MATCHES FOUND.” The flying machine declared. “CATEGORIZING: WOODLAND CREATURE. THREAT LEVEL: ZERO. DO NOT ENGAGE.”
The drone accelerated swiftly up to altitude, and met up with five more drones flying in formation. Jubal was left scratching his head. Wait till Momma hears about this!
_ _ _
Jubal and Momma were rocking on their porch together. Jubal had his pipe, Missus Kershaw had a hot mug of tea, and they were enjoying the cool breeze.
“CAW CAW CAW” Jawbone declared.
“Us too, Jawbone.” Jubal replied.
“What’s that over yonder mountain?” Missus Kershaw asked.
Jubal stood up and squinted, as if that would give him a better view. “Hard to say, Momma. Ain’t never seen nothin’ like it.”
It was a giant robotic tripod, walking slowly and determinedly over the mountain. On it’s side was the trademark smiley face and “SMY-NET” branding.
“Guess those kids have some new toys to play with.”
(834 words)
If you enjoyed this, consider my other short fiction, which you can find in The Writing Gym! I publish a new short writing exercise every Tuesday!
Thank you very much for reading!
God Bless!
Oh Scoot this was wonderful! I love coming into this world through the eyes of a protagonist so detached from the pain of the prompt. There was a fantastic juggling of scifi/horror and humor in this entire story, from the conversation between Jubal and the strangers, to the flying machine's categorization of Jubal as a "Woodland creature," I enjoyed this whole ride.
Thank you for participating in this month's Prompt Celebration and adding your fiction to our party!
I absolutely loved this! The big difference in how the kids talked versus Jubal was so well written! I think my favorite part was at the beginning: "No cap, bruh." That made me laugh so hard. That and when the drone identified him as a woodland creature 😂😂