Letters From Armin: A Fool In Love

Selected Letters of Armin R. Tolor, No. 8

This is Selected Letters of Armin R. Tolor, a serial which will release every three weeks. To catch up on past letters, see The Index. For information on the illustrations, see the footnote¹

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Dear Jason,

It was a balm to my soul to see your letter, much less read it. I am pleased to read you are safe and otherwise well. You have had quite the adventures, and I am glad you were safely delivered through them but I am sorry to hear of the toll it has taken on you. War is an awful thing.

Once the mediation began all news of the conflict stopped—so I don’t know any more than you do. I wonder if this was by design, while the parties negotiate.

What have you missed? Where do I begin? My father schemes all the same, Mary is in blissful serenity at the monastery, Lars is…Lars. He exists to receive the Title when my Father passes it on. And Ella has gotten herself engaged to the Duke’s second son. A wedding is imminent.

My father spends every moment trying to woo the Duke’s son, Georg. He is a pleasant fellow, seems sharp, moreover he seems kind, which might be a weakness in Ella’s ambitious hands. But he dotes on Ella as much as a man ought to, and they seem so much in love that I can no longer convince myself that Ella is putting on an act. She seems quite taken away with it all, and so I am happy that she is happy, whatever her intentions or machinations may be. I believe the wedding will be the lucky break my Father has been waiting for—an opportunity to speak with the Duke in close quarters and convince him of some scheme that he has been working on for months now. I don’t know the details, but he certainly seems very impressed with himself.

I don’t know whether to be upset or not that you asked about the mysterious woman from the party. I ran into her by accident once, and learned her name was Catherine; then I ran into her again, this time on what I suspect was a plot, and learned her family name is Tark and much more about her.

She is lovely and charming and the word I keep coming back to is enchanting. I am quite conflicted—on the one hand, I find myself making excuses to visit or be accessible to her, and she seems quite amenable to this oblique flirtation. On the other hand—a lovely woman like her deserves a lovely gentleman who will keep her happy. I find myself determined to dissuade her from what I believe are her obvious affections. My family is tumultuous, I am addled with character flaws and other weaknesses, I can’t seem to string an eloquent, sensible sentence together in her company. I’m a silly, trivial fool and she’s an angel. Surely like calls to like, and she deserves an angel of a man, not whatever I am. A marriage to me would not even be advantageous, as my brother is set to inherit so I will have to find some other occupation to fill my days. If her interest in me is ambition, she will be surely disappointed, for that and many other reasons.

I don’t mean to sound so self-deprecating, but I really cannot fathom what she sees in me and I see myself quite clearly and know I would be nothing but trouble for her. At least I know if I succeed in dissuading her, then she wasn’t meant to be; and if I fail to dissuade her, then she must have such poor sense that maybe I do have a remote chance to make her happy.

Can you see how silly romance makes us? Crises across the Iris system, my best friend is in the line of danger, my sister set to be married quite soon, and here I am babbling like a fool.

Please let me know how things look from your view—you will probably know before the news tells us whether peace has succeeded or failed on Maristo! Stay safe!

Your friend,

-Armin

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1. Illustrations were created on commission by

The Chronicler

. If you are interested in commissioning the Chronicler to create artwork for your own project, see this page HERE.